i'm breaking up with my skin
and you should too.
our relationship took a turn in 8th grade when i saw my first pimple on my forehead. until then, you had been so nice to me. clear, soft, glowy. and now, an aggravated red bump stared viciously at me in the mirror, marring my once spotless complexion. of course, i did what any reasonable person would have done in the situation. i picked at it.
i must admit, popping that pimple was utterly satisfying. it was like i had purified my face of everything dirty. now it was clean and smooth again. except a few days later, another one appeared on my nose. and of course, i had to pop that one too. thus began an unhealthy habit of picking at every bump and pore that i still haven’t been able to get rid of to this day.
along with the pops came the deep, jarring scars. silly me thought strong benzoyl peroxide cleansers or the st.ive’s exfoliating face washes could strip my scarred skin. oh how i wish i could go back and stop her. the scars led to another unhealthy obsession: buying every product possible that promised to clear my skin! even my skin tone! and give me glass skin!
il never stopped picking. and i never stopped changing my skincare products. my acne flared up in 10th grade, partly due to nutritional deficiencies but also because of these habits i had picked up. in an effort to have “perfect" skin, i was actively taking all the steps to ruin it. popping until i was bleeding, harsh cleansers, active serums that were horrible for my dry skin and damaged skin barrier. it wasn’t until i started to eat well and reduced my routine to a gentle cleanser and moisturizer that i finally saw some improvement. i ended senior year of high school not hating how i looked in the mirror. what a dream!
but then, my acne came back with a punch in junior year of college. i treated you so well, and you turned your back on me? i panicked. i fell into the same routine of picking at all the new spots and buying every thing social media was advertising as the miracle cure to my rough, tainted skin. it made it worse. so much worse. you could practically draw the big dipper on my forehead and my cheeks. i couldn’t even leave the apartment without a full face of makeup.
then, i was prescribed tretinoin. i was forced to go back to a simple cleaner + moisturizer routine. lo and behold, i had a dramatic turnaround by the end of junior year. i attribute a lot of my progress to the tretinoin, especially because it reduced my acne so much i had nothing to pick! if there was nothing to pick, there were no scars! i had finally broken the cycle! our relationship was solid once again.
until i started my first job post grad last summer. maybe it was the stress of wanting to do well. maybe it was because i was so upset that this 8-6 could not be my entire life that i started exploring a beauty influencer career. i was buying new makeup and skincare left and right for the sake of TikToks that would get 200 views max. my skin paid the price. you tried to warn me earlier. i knew you did well with consistency. but i got so wrapped up in social media likes and an itch to be considered a “creative” that i treated you so poorly once again. the incessant picking started. the scars came back and stayed longer than ever. at the beginning of 2026, i put my tripod to rest and went back to my skincare staples. you’ve finally reciprocated the love and have handed me more even and glowy skin, just in time for summer.
there is a chance that, if you’ve made it this far, you also struggle with the constant battle of embracing your skin as it is and trying to fix its every imperfection. in the last month, i’ve really had to think about why i want my skin to be SO perfect. why is it the end of the world if i DO have a scar on my nose? or that my pores look slightly bigger on my nose? who is all up in my face with a magnifying glass like that? i even noticed that when i delete my social media apps, the urge to pick and perfect my skin calms down. there’s no one to compare myself to. no pictures that i need to look absolutely flawless for. no beauty brands vying for every dollar in my wallet with oddly named serums and magical cures. turns out my skin was never the one i needed to break up with. it was the lie that only clear skin is good skin.
i tend to refrain from pictures when my acne is flaring up, but in case you needed credentials, here are two that i managed to find.
hi! i’m nandini, and this is my new creative outlet outside of my 8-6 in finance. i’ve been engrossed in all things beauty since my teenage years, and i’m realizing now that i can use the power of the internet (with my brain cells) to figure out what is good for my skin. no more guesswork! i’m not a dermatologist or a cosmetic chemist by any means, but i have been the target market for the 100s of skincare brands out there for several years. if you decide to follow, you can expect more anecdotes like this, along with my deep dives into new beauty products, ingredient analysis, cosmetic regulations, and more. to be upfront, i’ll get things wrong, especially when i get into ingredients and policy, so don’t be afraid to call me out. let’s decipher the beauty aisle together, one product at a time.